Many of the problems that we face on a daily basis result from poor communication skills and techniques. It is very easy to misinterpret what someone says and pursue a course of action only to discover later that you made a mistake.
Who is to blame? Is it the sender or the receiver of the message? Should the sender have checked that the receiver understood? Should the receiver have checked to make sure his interpretation was correct?
Sometimes time prevents double checking. Yet it is certain that if time was taken for this kind of double-checking, many difficulties would be prevented. Good communicators find time to double-check.
Good communicators make people understand what they think, feel, believe, want, are doing, have done, or intend to do. When one person is confident that he understands what another person wants, then he can act accordingly.
If he has any doubts, then his actions will be tentative and uncertain. This does not produce confidence or assurance. Moreover, when misunderstanding occurs and actions based on wrong assumptions are completed, much time is wasted repairing the damage. As well, trust and dependability are damaged.
On the other hand, when good communication occurs, and each one knows exactly the desires and feelings of the other, all activities and assignments can be carried out with confidence and assurance. Peace of mind and fulfillment result.
Conflicts, arguments, violence, misunderstanding, wars, and breakdowns in agreements and relationships are usually caused by dishonesty and deceit. These actions are in turn caused by jealousy, greed, pride, anger, hatred, and prejudice.
People who want to rise above their neighbors in some way always resort to methods that encroach on the freedom of their fellowman. This will produce lack of communication rather than poor communication. The results are the same. Unhappiness for both the doer and the receiver, the offender and the victim.
Can good communication skills prevent those who have ambitions to take advantage of their fellow man from doing so? This is doubtful. Only a change in character can stop a person who carries anger, hate, greed, jealousy pride, and prejudice in his heart from acting badly.
But good communication can assist people who want to act kindly, generously, and compassionately to do the best they can in every situation. Communication can help find the best solution to any problem. Acting autonomously won’t.
People who have difficulty interacting with others usually have problems communicating their attitudes, thoughts, ideas, beliefs, feelings, and needs to them, or understanding all these things.
Good communication skills overcome these difficulties. However, the problem is not necessarily with the communication skills themselves. It is just as likely to be in the area of self-esteem. They can’t express their thoughts, attitudes, etc because their ego limits what they can reveal about themselves.
Also, people won’t reveal much about what they think and how they feel to other people because they don’t want them to know. When asked, they give a non-committal answer or change the subject. This breaks the line of communication and little progress towards understanding, support, or co-operation is made.
Good communication creates efficiency. The more precise and accurate communications are, whether they be in relationships, families, or elsewhere, the easier it is to understand them. Interaction and follow-up action is then quicker and more efficient. Everyone benefits because they know exactly what to do or where they stand.
Good communicators can enlist support for themselves and others with a minimum amount of effort. They can obtain co-operation for their ideas and projects quicker and easier than others around them. This makes life easier and more productive and enjoyable.
In general terms, not being able to communicate well causes a lot of frustration, stress, depression, and disappointment. This occurs because you can’t get across to people what you want or prefer and you can’t make them understand exactly how you feel.
Consequently, you are treated differently from how you want to be treated, or you are put off or ignored because no-one can understand exactly what you want.
But the person who communicates well avoids most of these frustrations and so they are much closer to a better life that they want.
What Can We Do to Become Better Communicators?
1. The first thing to do is to work on your self-esteem and the other noble human qualities. a better life personal development Course will certainly show you how to do this and also speed up the process.
2. When you listen, always give the speaker 100% of your attention. Then try to understand what they are trying to say rather than what they are saying.
3. Be honest and open in all your communications. This avoids having to cover up lies or confess to deceit. Limit the times you say what you think the other person wants to hear. Say what you regard is the truth.
4. People will believe what you say with your expression, gestures, and body language before they will believe what you say. Make your words reflect your non-verbal communication, not the other way around.
5. When it is important for understanding, check that you understand what someone says to you, and that they understand what you say to them.
6. Separate your feelings for a person from your feelings about their actions. “It is not you I don’t like, it is what you did.” You can always then tell the person that if they repeat poor behaviour, then you have the right to change how you feel about them.
7. Always make a person understand that you are helping him solve his problems rather than trying to get him to do something you want. This will backfire on you, however, if you are not sincere.
8. Don’t terminate communications without either settling differences or making an appointment to settle them. On the other hand, do not try to settle conflict when the protagonists are upset and angry. Wait until everyone is calm and objective and can state their points of view without becoming emotional.
9. When you are wrong, admit it and accept the consequences.
10. Avoid contact with those who seek to upset you for their own personal satisfaction. These people do not have the right to make you listen to them. Walk away.
11. Be ready to compromise when it is necessary, but don’t compromise what you believe is right.